Saturday, June 5, 2010

Reluctant Dads

One would think that with running a cloth diaper store, that my husband would be a tree hugging cloth diapering guru. Umm not so much :)

When I decided to cloth diaper, he rolled his eyes and said he would not do any more diaper changes. My first cloth diaper was actually the gDiaper, and we were using flushables, so there were no money savings, but my husband has always known he married the "environmental Aussie" and was not surprised when I decided to use a greener diapering option. I did most of the changes anyway, so I had a little stack of Nature Baby Care disposables for him to use.

Then came the cloth diapers. Once I decided I wanted to go full on cloth, he was soooooo not going to change any diapers. So that little stack of "green" disposables sat on the shelf for the rare times that he was going to have to change a diaper.

Eventually that little stack of disposables ran out, and there came the time when Mum was out grocery shopping and Dad had to change a diaper that was all cloth. I came home to a mess. He had tried to use the flip diaper that I was testing out first, and it fell to pieces on him as he was taking it off the top of the stack to put on the baby. So that was discarded on the floor. Then the next one down was a gDiaper, and he had thrown that one on the floor because he knew it had to be put on "backwards" and no way was he going to touch that one. Surprisingly the one he put on was the Otter Blotter, which I thought should have been on the floor with the rest, because that one has the design to prevent baby taking it off. But I remember him admiring the design of it when I showed him the diaper when I first got it in.

So after this little episode, we worked out a system. I have a three tiered diaper storage hanging device, and the top shelf is only to contain "daddy friendly" diapers. So what makes up the daddy friendly diaper shelf?

  • AIO diapers, including Monkey Doodlez, Bum Genius Organic AIO (old style with aplix), Thirsties AIO (sadly no longer being made). All of them close with aplix. I did put some snap closing diapers in there, but he told me that while he could do it, he didn't like to.
  • Pre-stuffed Pocket Diapers that close with aplix.

Since I implemented this system, my husband has been willingly changing the diapers. He no longer moans at me that he wants a stack of disposable diapers for his use. He even takes the diaper pail contents to the washing machine for me every couple of nights!

So if you have a reluctant spouse or other caregiver. My suggestion is to go with easy cloth options for them, with aplix closures. There is no reason why you cant have a stash made up of different kinds of diapers. I still test out all the different diapers on my son for the store, but unless I want my husbands opinion on one, he just has his little stack of AIOs etc for his use.

And now that my son has started mothers day out a couple of days a week, we send Daddy's AIO's off to there. We have had no complaints from his teacher there, just compliments about cloth diapers in general.

Sharni -
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  1. It's sad that some dads are all about the 'good' things about a baby but put them out just a little bit and they want nothing to do with it. We parent 50/50. Sometimes that means I get the disposal of a poopie and he does the wiping or vice versa, but since I am a SAHM and my hubby works out of the home, he gets the lions share of the after work care for our little girl while I do things I can't do with her at my ankle!It all works out, and he LOVES our cloth diapers!

  2. This is a great post, and I love your storage system. I want to do something similar. My husband isn't quite as reluctant, but he does get confused by all the different fastening systems and different sizes of inserts.

  3. I'm glad DH has been on board with me when I switched to CD without his approval. :D He understands it's "better" for DS's bums. Heck, he was even willing to change every single diaper I've asked him to, even though some were more successful than others. :)

    My pockets are always stuffed, and DH has no problems with snaps or aplix. Heck, he was even (reluctantly) willing to change a Snappi-ed prefold or contour! I love my guy! :)

  4. DH is learning as well. I'd agree with the AIO hook/loop closure. We have some Kushies AIO newborn diapers now, and he really likes them. Unfortunately, B is outgrowing them, so he's going to have to make the switch sometime, but I think I'm going to invest in some larger, sized, AIOs for him to use.

  5. My husband was totally on board when I wanted to start using cloth diapers (he really liked the money saving part of it) that was until he changed the first cloth diaper, then he was not at all happy about (said it was too much work) After a few months of using cloth and seeing all of the money we had saved he really started to like cloth diaper again and he even got used to changing them. Now after 2 1/2 years and 2 kids in cloth diapers he is a huge cloth diaper advocate, He is always telling his guy friends that are expecting new babies how great cloth diapers are and he tells them all about the money savings! When he sees that the diaper pail is full he will even do the diaper laundry, I could not have asked for a better cloth diapering hubby!

  6. My husband is a peach about cloth. At first he didn't seem all that into it but now he brags me up that I cloth diaper to his co-workers. I know at first the intial investment scared him but know he is see the savings as were using the diapers on our third child :-)He does try to sneak out of the occasional diaper but most often he's happy to spend the giggle time with our 6mo who loves changing time.

  7. My husband is great with cloth! He loves it. He won't buy disposables, even when I ask him to for when our daughter goes to grandma's! He says she can learn to use our diapers!

  8. I think dad's (and pretty much everyone else) are fine using cloth diapers as long as the mystery surronding them is dispelled. My hubby admits he prefers the bumGenius over the other brands, but once I showed him how to use prefolds he was fine with them too. Snaps he likes once he figures out what "setting" they belong on because they are so much easier in the laundry. But I think everyone would agree to that. I don't think men think much differently than women do on the subject. It's just that usually we are the ones purchasing them so we're a step ahead. Help Daddy to catch up and it should go smoother.

  9. Cloth diapering was a given, both because it is what we both grew up with and because it is more economical. When we went to CB to check out the options, he wasn't interested in learning about BG or any other 'system. His younger brother is significantly younger and he helped with his care, so that meant prefolds. He said why use anything else...if it ain't broke, don't fix it! What a gem! My mom stayed with us for 3 weeks (heaven!) and kept telling us that EBF poo didn't need to be swished out, and he took more convincing than I did...kept saying he just wanted to make sure they were clean!

  10. I almost passed out (ok, exaggeration) when I saw my husband use a snappy for the first time. He did it right, and even folded the baby's diaper down in front like I do. So cute. He was resistant to cloth, but once the initial buying phase was over he was convinced it was better. When he changes the baby I usually get the diaper for him, but when left to his own devices he grabs a prefold and a snappy. He says they are less complicated lol



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