Cloth Diaper Retailer Cooperative: Cottontail Baby

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Sunday, September 11, 2011

September 11, 2011

So, it is September 11, 2011, the 10 year anniversary of the horrible attacks on the United States in New York City, Pennsylvania and Washington, DC. It is also my day to blog on the Cloth Diaper Retailer Cooperative blog. I have been trying to come up with something appropriate to share with you all. However, despite my best efforts, writing about diaper rash salve or the best cloth training pant seems so trite and inconsequential.

I read an interesting article on how to talk to your kids about 9/11 and was all prepared when my young sons asked about it this morning (they wanted to know why there was a commemorative ceremony at the baseball game they were watching on tv). When I started to answer them using the words and tone the article suggested they replied "Oh, the Twin Towers? We learned about that at school." "Really?" I responded, "When?" "In Art class" they replied. Huh? In Art class? Has 9/11 and the wars that followed so desensitized us as a nation to the horrors of that day that 2nd graders are learning of it in Art? This was the defining moment of my adulthood. Like Pearl Harbor and the Kennedy Assassination that proceeded it, it is one of those days where everyone can tell you exactly where they were, what they were doing and how they felt when they first heard of it. It ended any innocence that remained and caused fear to be a unwelcome companion. Should something this consequential and life changing really be a topic in 2nd grade Art? Upon hearing of our sons' history lesson, my husband and I sat down with them and provided a bit more detail than I am assuming they received over finger paints and glitter.

So, on this 10th Anniversary day, I will not blog about diapers but I will do a giveaway as we all need something fun and happy to which we can look forward. One of our favorite Made in the USA diapers, Thirsties, has recently added new prints to its diaper cover line. They are sweet and delightful and make me smile whenever I see them. We will give away one of these new covers (you pick the size and print) via a random drawing from the entrants.

In order to enter, please do one or all of the following (doing all four gives you four entries!):

- Comment below on how you discuss 9/11 with your children

- Fan Cottontail Baby on Facebook

- Fan the Cloth Diaper Retailer Cooperative on Facebook

- Join the Cottontail Baby mailing list

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Should We Trick Our Kids?

My name is Kathleen and I am the owner of Cottontail Baby and Mamaclothonline. I live in Minnesota with my husband and our three young, active, sports-obsessed sons. Like many moms out there, I try my best every day to live a green life and do right by my family, friends and community. While I often fall short of my ideal, I always keep trying.

I have been struck recently by the number of articles and self-help books that advocate tricking or lying to our children in order to get them to do what it is we want them to do. Trick your kids into eating their vegetables. Trick your kids into thinking school is cool. Trick your kids into reading. Trick your kids into helping around the house.

I am rather astounded at all of this. Why do we have to lie to get our kids to do what we want them to do or what is best for them? How do our children benefit from our manipulation and subterfuge? (Full disclosure: I live in a house in which Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are very much alive and present. That might make me a hypocrite and I can live with that.)

If you want your children to eat their vegetables than make them a part of every meal and model eating vegetables. Grow them in your garden and have your kids help. We have a four colors on your plate every meal rule and often talk with our kids about what colors would be fun to eat at dinner and pick the appropriate veggie (orange - bell peppers or carrots, green - beans or asparagus, red - tomatoes or beats, blue - corn or potatoes, yellow - summer squash). Have them help prepare the meal. Even a toddler can hang beside mom or dad with his or her own little bowl and spoon -- who cares if it messy? In my experience most of parenting is.

I never did understand how children would benefit, in the long run, from hiding pureed carrots in the chocolate chip cookies or spinach in the brownies. What is the end game here? If kids don’t ever eat vegetables as vegetables what happens when they are older and their parents no longer sneak them into their sweets? Will they miraculously start enjoying vegetables and make them part of their daily diet then? Perhaps. But not likely. Sending the message that desserts are good and veggies are bad doesn't help anyone. When they find out that their parents have been lying to them all these years, what will that do their parent/child relationship now that trust has been violated? Finally, you take away from the child the ability to actually develop a love for vegetables. Who knows, maybe they will surprise you and end up liking it but you never gave them the chance to do so. Let's all remember the often quoted parenting philosophy that you must try a new food multiple times before you develop a taste for it. Don't take that opportunity away from them.

I feel the same way regarding tricking your kids into reading or helping around the house. They should develop a love of reading for readings sake and not because they were manipulated into it. In our house, my husband and I model reading and our children follow. Even when they were little bitty toddlers they would pick up books and point to words and mutter jibberish in an imitation of my husband and me. Cute. For parents who trick or bribe their kids into reading, how will they maintain the passion and joy once the subterfuge has ended?

Children should help around the house because they are part of the family and not because they were tricked into it. We don’t do allowances in our home. Our children help with chores because they live here too and everyone pitches in. If they need something, they receive money for it as we are a family and we do our best to meet each others needs. If they want something that is not a need, they can wait until their birthday or Christmas or a particularly indulgent grandparent comes to visit (it helps to be part of a culture in which cash is often given as a gift). Often, a little waiting allows them to realize they really didn’t want it after all.

Recognizing the best laid parenting plans get blown apart as our little ones imprint their own personalities on our ideals, what are your plans? As your infants turn into toddlers and breast milk makes way for solids, are you going to obscure the vegetables on your child’s plate? Are you going to trick them into the behaviors you want or encourage them on their own?

GIVEAWAY

Our giveaway this month is a FuzziBunz Diaper Tote. We LOVE and I mean LOVE the bright, vibrant colors FuzziBunz is using these days. Is there anything more gorgeous than their Crushed Berry or as fresh as their Apple Green or more luxurious than the Choco Truffle? Yum! In order to win one of these bags, please

Join the Cottontail Baby mailing list
Fan Cottontail Baby on Facebook
Fan the Cloth Diaper Retailer Cooperative on Facebook

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Circumcision - Whose Choice is it to Make?

I am Kathleen, owner of both Cottontail Baby and Mamaclothonline and, most importantly, mother to three young boys. It is in my Mom role that I have been reading with great interest the news that San Francisco is considering a ballot initiative that would outlaw circumcision for boys under 18. The ban would make circumcising minors punishable by a fine of $1000 and up to one year in jail. There would be no religious exemptions. The more I read and the more I learn, the more I am finding myself quite conflicted about this proposed ban.

Certainly, on the one hand, circumcision is a form of mutilation of the body of a very much innocent and helpless infant. If God made it this way, why do we need to tamper with it as the actor Russell Crowe infamously tweeted earlier this week? I agree with this and feel the same way regarding this and a whole host of cosmetic procedures.

On the other hand, I do understand all the studies that indicate the health issues related to circumcision (some studies in Africa suggest that circumcision helps stop the spread of AIDS). I also understand the cultural and religious rituals associated with circumcision especially amongst Muslims and Jews and the importance placed on this rite of passage in both religions. Circumcision is so important to both groups that a ban of the practice could be seen as violating one's First Amendment rite to practice one's religion as one sees fit.

One study I read indicated that while only 30% of males world wide are circumcized, over 80% of males in the US are circumcized. Clearly, this is a US cultural issue in many ways. I am curious to know why this is so important and prevelent in our country but significantly less so world wide? Does it have something to do with our anti-septic, shrink wrapped culture? Are we just a nation of conformers and afraid, even for our tiny infants, to go against the norm? Are we lemmings who do not think for ourselves but just blindly and unquestionably approve unnecessary procedures?

One issue in the debate that I find most interesting is the dichotomy between what is good for the males and what is good for the females (female genital mutilation). Female circumcision (the removal of the clitoris) is illegal in this country. The San Francisco ban would simply provide males the same protection that is already enjoyed by females. I have yet to speak to any parent who believes in circumcision for boys who feels the same way for girls. Why is that? Is it that the process for girls is so much more barbaric (done when they are so much older and in such a crude fashion leading to significant illness, disfigurement and, occasionally, death)? I think that has to be part of it. In addition, for boys, circumcision is done for religious and health reasons but for girls, it is a cultural practice designed to repress women by eliminating their ability to experience sexual pleasure.

In the end, is this simply a parents rights issue? Does the government really need to legislate every choice parents make for the children? Is this just another in a long line of Big Brother laws such as outlawing spanking, criminalizing parents when their children misbehave (many laws that penalize and, in some cases, jail parents for having truant children for instance) or criminalizing parents who smoke in cars in which their children are riding.

What do you think? Is this a clear cut issue for you or are there many shades of grey? What would you do if you lived in San Francisco and this law passes?

GIVEAWAY

In terms of a giveaway for this sunny month of June, I would like to give a Thirsties Fab Duo. The relatively new Fab Duos are so soft and squishy and remind me of wrapping up in a towel after a long day at the beach. They come in fun, summertime colors such as mango, ocean and honeydew. No matter what you choose to do in regards to circumcision, these are great, comfy, wonderful diapers for your children.

So, to enter the drawing, you need to do the following by June 25, 2011:

Comment on this blog post and tell us what you think
Fan Cottontail Baby on Facebook
Fan the Cloth Diaper Retailers Cooperative on Facebook
Join the Cottontail Baby mailing list

Good luck!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Travel with Cloth

We, as a family, love to travel and have since the boys were itty bitty. Asia, the Caribbean, the Rockies, the beach, Grandma's house. It is just what we do as a family and how we spend our discretionary income. Often, I am asked about traveling with cloth. After many years and lots of trial and error, I have distilled my answer down to this: It is all about the washing machine.

Its all about the Machine

If the washing machine is one you trust (that of a family member or close friend), then I say go with it and there are lots of things you can do to make it easier. However, if you are relegated to using a public washing machine, I would say “Proceed with Caution.” While some public washing machine are spotless, top of the line, power houses, many are not. There is nothing worse than washing your diapers in a machine with loads of detergent build up or where the water temperature has been turned down to save money. Coming home from vacation with diapers that need to be stripped and smell as they didn’t get clean enough is no vacation at all. It can make even the most amazing trip memories turn sour quickly.

One issue to be mindful of when using a different washing machine is that the diapers might not smell and feel the same way they do at home. Water quality differs across the country. If you have soft water in your neighborhood but travel somewhere with hard water, there may be detergent build up. Perhaps you generally use the sanitize cycle on your washing machine but the one at your destination is more basic and does not have such a feature. Recognize that you may need to do an extra rinse or two and that is simply part of the adventure of travel. Don't forget to bring your detergent. We are big fans of RockinGreen and really love their sample sizes for travel.

What else do you need?

If you do have a good washer lined up and want to do cloth, there are some things that can make life easier. Invest in a great wet bag or for a longer trip, bring along a pail liner. Toss a citrus circle or diaper buddy in there in order to keep the smells down. One or both of these really are necessary for trips. You need a place to store all the diapers and the ability to keep any smells out of the hotel room or Grandma’s guest room. There are many great ones out there with my favorites being the whimsical prints of Leslie’s Wet Bags and the bright fun colors of the FuzziBunz wet bag.

My next suggestion is to Embrace the Disposable Liner. Disposable liners can be your best friend on trips. Being able to simply flush away the solids and not foul up the diaper too much with those can be wonderful. We know some people bring diaper sprayers along with them and attach to the toilet where they are visiting. That is simply too much work for us so the disposable liners are a great idea.

The diapers you bring with you can determine how much work you do. I am a big fan of the new hybrid diapers such as the Flip by Cottonbabies for travel. They offer several choices of inserts with the disposable being the easiest to use for travel. Just take out and toss the insert and put in a new one. Easy. Even if you choose to use the stay dry or organic insert, they are easy to wash and take up very little space in your luggage. The covers can be rinsed in the sink and hung to dry. So simple it is almost fun.

What not to bring?

Wool covers, while great and when properly lanolized, extremely waterproof, are hard to dry. They must be dried flat and can take a long time, particularly in humid weather. They do not tend to be a great traveling option. In addition, we have found that if being line dried, bamboo diapers can take a bit of time to dry in humid weather.

Whatever you do, have a safe and fun trip. Remember, the most important thing to bring is your senses of humor and adventure.

Happy travels!

Giveaway

Of course we have a Giveaway! We love Flip Diapers for travel and want you to try one too! So, a Flip diaper will be given away on Feb 25th to a randomly selected entrant. In order to enter:

- Fan Cottontail Baby on Facebook

- Join the Cottontail Baby mailing list

- Fan the Cloth Diaper Retailer Cooperative on Facebook

- Fan the Cloth Diaper Retailer Cooperative blog

Good luck!

Friday, February 11, 2011

My Valentine to Northern Essence Diaper Products!

So, Valentine's Day is just around the corner. Do you have plans? We do. Three class parties during the day all of which are joint Valentine's Day/Chinese New Year celebrations. Then, home for heart shaped cookie baking with loads and loads of sprinkles -- some on the cookies, most on the kitchen floor. Finally, the boys favorite meal for dinner. Yes, nothing says romance more than Tacos in a Bag!!! Can you feel the love? This is how we will spend Valentine's Day in snowy Minnesota with our three little boys. What about you?

For my Valentine's Day blog, I wanted to write a Valentine to my favorite product of all...Northern Essence balms and creams. I LOVE them. LOVE them. I am sure you do, too. What is not to like? Wonderful, all natural ingredients. Nifty smelling scents. Easy application...the Diaper Rash Salve tube is genius. It is ALL good.

While my children have grown out of the need for the Diaper Rash Salve and Better Butt(er) Cream, we still use the shampoo, foaming wash and lotions. In fact, I always have a container or two of the whipped lotion in my gym bag -- my favorites are Ginger Lime and Peppermint.

However, as this is a Cloth Diaper blog, I will save my love today for the Diaper Rash Salve and the Better Butt(er) Cream. The salve is genius with all natural ingredients and comes in both regular and sensitive skin (no lavender or tea tree oil) versions. As it does not contain any lanolin, petroleum or zinc, it does not gunk up your diapers like many salves do so no need to worry about temporarily switching to cloth. It does not cause repelling issues. The salve also does not stain. It really is genius.

The Better Butt(er) Cream is also amazing. This is the cream to use when your child has a yeast infection. Not only will it clean up the infection in a safe and natural way, it also won't gunk up your diapers. The cream is triple whipped and it is thick and luxurious while at the same time being light and fluffy. Really amazing stuff.

Just to show how much love we have for these products we will give away one container of Better Butt(er) Cream to a randomly chosen poster on February 25th. In order to enter, please do the following:

1. Fan the CD Retailer Blog on Facebook

2. Fan Cottontail Baby on Facebook

3. Follow the Cloth Diaper Retailer Blog

4. Join the Cottontail Baby mailing list

Saturday, September 11, 2010

A Different Kind of Back to School (and a Giveaway!)

Happy September! I am Kathleen, the owner of Cottontail Baby and her sister site Mamaclothonline. We live in gorgeous, green, lake-filled Minnesota where, as if on cue, the moment Labor Day weekend and the Minnesota State Fair were over the weather turned cold with brisk winds and crisp air. Summer is done and it is time to turn our attention to more serious pursuits like school and the Vikings. I love the Fall. Maybe it is all those years of going to school with new notebooks and paper and freshly sharpened pencils but it seems more a season of new beginnings to me than Spring ever does. A chance to begin again and make good choices and succeed and write new chapters.

One issue we struggle with at Back to School is sleep. Weaning our school age kids off their summer bedtimes and into school bedtimes is a significant challenge in our home.

As if psychically knowing exactly what our family is experiencing, the Science Times this Tuesday was full of articles on kids and sleep and school and studying. I thought this blog post was a good opportunity to share a couple things I read. The first has to do with kids and sleep and weight. We all know there is an obesity epidemic in this country. We also all know that there is a correlation between getting adequate nightly sleep and weight issues later in life. The Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine entered the dialogue with another study linking lack of adequate sleep in young children to becoming overweight or obese later in life. According to the study, children under 5 who did not receive at least 10 hours of sleep each night (naps do NOT count) were almost twice as likely to be overweight or obese later in life than those kids who did get the sleep. The belief is that sleep affects hormones that regulate hunger and appetite. Fortunately for the children of the world, sleep is an easily modifiable risk factor.

There was a second kids and weight article in the Times this week. This one did not have to do with sleep being a risk factor but the mother's weight. Yes, again, it is always Mommy's fault. According to this study, excessive weight gain in pregnancy can lead to larger than average infants who are prenatally programmed to become overweight adults with all the health issues associated with excessive weight (diabetes, heart disease, cancer). According to the National Academy of Sciences, fewer than 40% of women gain ONLY the recommended amount of weight during their pregnancy. The other 60% pack on too many pounds. Piggybacking on this phenomenon is that most women do not lose all their pregnancy weight before entering into another pregnancy causing them to start off heavier and gain more each time.

A similar study of British children found that at age 9, kids of women whose weight gain exceeded their physician's recommendations were fatter than other kids, more likely to become overweight and had multiple risk factors for heart disease as well as poorer immune function. In an editorial associated with the publication of this study in Circulation, Dr. Neal Halfon from the Center for Healthier Children, Families and Communities at the University of California, Los Angeles said "You can't turn around in the nine months of pregnancy what's been going on for many years of life. The preconception period is critical to placing pregnancy on a healthier trajectory."

I really liked this quote as it seemed to encapsulate what we are trying to do here on the Cloth Diaper Retailer Blog. Help families lead healthier lives for themselves and their children. We help not only by selling the tools to a greener and cleaner lifestyle but also by giving tips and hints and advice on how to make it easier and not onerous. For example, the posting a week or so ago Simple Steps to Start Canning giving tips on how to can fresh vegetables from your garden. Not only does this help in saving money at the grocer but it also allows your family to eat pesticide free produce that has not been frozen wrapped in chemical laden plastic or canned in sodium rich tin.

So, what do you think? In this season of new beginnings what changes are you going to make to help your family lead a greener and healthier lifestyle?

Giveaway

I spent some time thinking of what would be the best item from our inventory to giveaway to readers. Something that incorporated this posting's theme of new beginnings and learning and healthlier lifestyles and it became clear. A trainer! We are huge fans here of both the Happy Heiny's trainer for kids in the early stages of potty learning and the Imse Vimse trainer for kids who have mastered potty learning but still have occasional accidents.

For this month, I believe we will go with the Happy Heiny trainer. We love the Happy Heiny for being so customizable. With the Happy Heinys Pocket Trainer you can pick the color and snap option (no snaps, snaps on one side, snaps on both sides) that works best for your child as well as stuff it with as much or as little as you need. We will giveaway one Happy Heiny's pocket trainer in any regular size, color and snap option the winner desires.

In order to enter (Please leave a separate comment for each entry. If you already are a fan or already subscribe, leave a comment saying so):

1. MANDATORY entry: Stop by Cottontail Baby and check out the selection of Happy Heinys products. Tell us what you like most about the brand.

2. Follow this blog for an entry.

3. Become a fan of Cottontail Baby on Facebook.

4. Become a fan of CDRC of Facebook.

5. Join the Cottontail Baby mailing list

6. Follow the Cottontail Baby blog, Clothdiaperonline.

Thanks!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Tyranny of the Disposable (Giveaway)

Happy 4th of July week! The 4th of July is always the best weekend of they year in Minnesota. It is our reward for putting up with the never-ending, freezing, snowy winters. Glorious weather, cool refreshing lakes sparkling in the sunshine, fireworks lighting up the sky....small town celebrations (sand castle building contests, popsicle socials, bike parades behind the firetruck) at their finest.

I was all set to write my blog post themed on the 4th of July. Just as our Founding Father’s freed us from the tyranny of England’s rule I want to free my fellow soccer/baseball/chess club moms and dads from the Tyranny of the Snack. If you have young children involved in any activities, you know about the Tyranny of the Snack. A parenting phenomenon no one tells you about until after you are mired in it (Teletubbies, anyone?), is the snack. It is everywhere and it just won't go away. Apparantly, Somewhere Very Important, someone Very Important came up with this ridiculous rule that whenever two or more children are gathered together for any type of activity, said activity must conclude with a snack. Is there anything more unnecessary in our obesity-ridden culture than feeding a 6 year old a Ho-Ho at 8:30 at night after a soccer game? Followed by a HFCS, artificial-color laden drink? I HATE it and fight it and rail against and am always defeated by the other parents who say “All the other teams will be doing snack so we must as well.” If their child said "All the other kids are playing with matches, so I must as well" would they do it? And yet, I succumb. I hate myself for it and wonder what happend to the idealistic young adult I once was who protested apartheid and marched on Washington. THAT lady would fight this in ways more direct than a diaper blog and not back down but the mom I have become lets it slide and then hates herself later for doing it. Anyone who has let their child watch Sponge Bob knows the feeling.....

That is what I WAS going to rant and ramble about, until the great ladies of the Cloth Diaper Retailer Cooperative whom I admire so very much, decided that this summer should be the season of Giveaways. Somehow, armed with that knowledge, I was able to tear myself off my soapbox and switch topics to....reusable menstrual products! Yes, a far cry from the Ding Dongs and Cheetos (why doesn’t anyone but me bring apples and bananas?) on which I was going to pen my screed.

So, reusable menstrual products. Free yourself from the Tyranny of the plastic tampon! Yippee! Fun, fun, fun. They don’t have quite the adorable and just too precious for words quality of their cloth diaper counterparts but they are just as important! If you make the decision to use cloth on your child (for environmental, financial or whatever other reason) why not use cloth for yourself? All the nasty chemicals and dangers found in sposies are present in tampons as well. The names have become all too familiar....Bleach. Dioxin. Toxic Shock Syndrome. Plastic. Why put them next to your skin or even inside your body? While disposable tampon applicators and pads are smaller, they fill landfills just the same as diapers and take the same time to decompose. In fact, the average child only uses diapers for 2.5 years. The average woman uses tampons and/or pads for 35-40 years....approximately 500 periods. At 5 tampons or pads a day for 5 days that is 12,500 chemical infused pieces of cotton and plastic next to our bodies and deposited in our landfills. Nasty.

We sell a lot of reusable menstrual products at Cottontail Baby and even more at our sister site, Mamaclothonline. We sell pads, cups, sponges and all the accoutrements that make them easy and fun to use (the Black Calaveras pad bag from Leslie's Boutique is one of my absolute MUST HAVES).

One of our favorites is the Fussybutt pad. Only someone as supremely cool, ironic and fun as Christy could come up with the name Fussybutt and her personality comes across in her pads. Christy hand dyes, crafts and sews each one of these pads and they are both extremely absorbent and absolutely beautiful. The pads, which come in five sizes (thong, liner, regular, long and Xlarge) are all organic bamboo fleece or organic bamboo velour with an organic wool jersey backing and organic cotton fleece soaker. Not the ugly chemical laden boring white disposable pads you find at Target. These come in gorgeous colors like turquoise with a lime backing or raspberry with purple backing. Stunning. Who knew something with such a high Ick Factor could be so attractive? Kinda makes you WANT to have your period (I said “kinda”). Plus, besides being beautiful, they are so comfortable and soft and just...dare I say it?...fun to wear.

As part of Giveaway Summer, we will give one Fussybutt pad and one Leslie's Wet Bag pad bag (winner can choose the size and color of pad and print of wet bag...approximately $40 value). The Giveaway ends on July 24, 2010 so enter early and enter often. There are several ways to enter:

Follow the Cloth Diaper Retailer Cooperative blog
Join the Cottontail Baby mailing list
Fan Cottontail Baby or Mamaclothonline on Facebook
Leave a comment on this post indicating you did all that
Double entry for those who link to the Cottontail Baby or Mamaclothonline web site in their comment

Friday, June 11, 2010

Cloth Diapers: the Tool of the Perfect Mom?

Am I the Tie that Binds?

I am Kathleen from Cottontail Baby. I am a stay at home mom of three VERY active, sports-obsessed, all organic guys. We live a fairly terrific life in a great, little house at the end of a culdesac on a lake in Minnesota. Our yard is full of deer, ducks, geese, frogs, turtles, fox, bunnies, wild turkeys and one, lonely, coyote. Every summer, during our abbreviated growing season, I tend to my garden. Sadly, the green thumb with which my mother is blessed, skipped a generation with me but I keep at it and have managed to feed my family from the garden more weeks than not! Besides Cottontail Baby, I also run its sister site, Mamaclothonline. In addition to those two ventures, my time is spent serving in my community, especially volunteering in my children's school and on their various sports teams as well as with the local Children's theater. I am thrilled to be a founding partner in the Cloth Diaper Retailer Cooperative with all these other terrific moms from whom I learn every day.
I was all set to sit down and write a blog post about swim diapers. After the "Poo in the Pool" fiasco of Memorial Day during which our local pool was closed for an hour, in 90 plus degree, humid, sticky, weather, due to an unfortunate disposable swim diaper that did not work, I was fired up and ready to write. Just buy a reusuable swim diaper. Imse Vimse are good. They work. They don't inconvenience your neighbors. They are cheaper in the long run and better for the environment. Plus, they are cute! I had it all planned out. Then, I sat down and read the Sunday NYT Styles section.....
In the Sunday NYT section, tucked away behind an article on the gorgeous, classy Iman, the Gore's marraige implosion, and the tall lady from Glee marrying a woman from my alma mater, was an article about a French Intellectual (their term, not mine) who opines that some of the tools of motherhood that I espouse - cloth diapers, breastfeeding, natural childbirth - are just chains that are keeping women from achieving their full potential. Elisabeth Badinter, as she outlines in Conflict: The Woman and the Mother (Le Conflit: la femme et la mere) believes that the advances of modern times, disposable diapers, the plastic (now BPA-free glass) bottle and epidurals which were designed to help free women and keep them independant and liberated are being discarded in favor of greener, more eco-friendly, and she would say, harder choices. Choices that are rolling back years of feminist advances in favor of a lifestyle that chains women to motherhood.

So, as you can see, not what I wanted to read on a happy, peaceful, Sunday morning. Mommy Wars a la Francais. Unlike the US based Mommy Wars which seem to focus mostly on the Working Mom vs. Stay at Home Mom dynamic, this was all about the movement toward a greener, cleaner lifestyle. She classifies the heightened eco-awareness amongst many of today's moms (and dads!) as just a passing fad and one, that left unchecked, is going to derail decades of advances for women.

After I got over my initial anger and frustration at what I believe to be this woman's limited point of view, I guess I understood a bit of what she was saying. Yes, women are making different choices than perhaps their mothers would have made. I can see how the women who blazed the trail for working women (moms or not) would be upset or frustrated that so many who follow are choosing different paths and perhaps not fully appreciating their struggles and sacrifices. But, isn't this okay? Isnt the beauty of where we are in society that it is okay that we have a choice? Bottles might allow women to return to work sooner but breastfeeding is cheaper and easier for many (not all, as my own experience would attest). Cloth diapers are better for the environment and our pocket books. So many live their lives in a medicated state, isn't it okay and rather cool that some (once again, not all, as my crash C-section would attest) choose to experience a major life event drug free and clear? Why are these things bad?

I do agree somewhat with one point she makes. That we, as a society, have idealized what the "perfect" mom does (cloth, breastfeed for 12 months or more, natural childbirth) and those who opt to not do these things or, even worse, try and cannot succeed in doing these things are left feeling like a failure. As if they did not check off all the "Good Mommy" boxes and are not as dedicated as the moms who do. So, what do you think? Are women who choose cloth and breastfeeding and natural childbirth rolling back decades of feminist advances? By making these choices are we reducing our freedom and limiting our professional options? Are the women who choose to not incorporate these elements into their parenting portfolio "Imperfect?" Or, in the end, is the "Perfect" mom one who loves her child and does the best she can in her own individual way taking into account her own, individual circumstances?

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